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Something Wicked

from 2012 Songaweek by HB Radke

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A trucker country ditty about Zombies and Rollerderby

lyrics

Y'all know all zombies right?
You know? them slow walking, low moanin'
brain eatin' killing machines you done seen on the TV.

This heres's a story about something worse
a monster far more insidious
than your garden variety zombie

Im a talking about the Roller-Zombie. Roller-zombies are almost always hot, young, females. They don't got the pale green skin, nor the dead far away stare. No sir they look like every truckers wet dream.

But you better watch out, that dream becomes a nightmare right quick. Here's what happened to me.

ten miles from the border kept my pedal to the floor
Haulin' rutabagas with my hound dog Eleanor
Trouble was a brewin' the local gentry didn't know
So I raised a warning on my C B Radio

Something Wicked this way comes
Roller skatin' danger
One bite and you will become
A zom-bi-fied stranger

Up against the devil for all our mortal lives
With my trusty twelve gauge and some injun throwin' knives
We knew that if they beat us the the whole county would be lost
We'd have kill each one of them and their sexy boss

Something Wicked this way comes
Roller skatin' danger
One bite and you become
A zombified stranger

Now your average zombie looks like it has scurvy
lumbers slowly looking for some brains
The superzombie skates in roller derby
They look so hot you can't recall your name
you're sure to go insane
Listen up this ain't a game!

Down at Olsen's Feed and Sundry is where we'd make are stand
We bolstered our defenses and made our battle plan
But that pack of roller-zombies would not be denied
The townsfolk all fought bravely, but each one of them had died

the rollerzombie leader took me as her pleasure slave
I must please her every night or end up in my grave
off goes her tight uniform i feel my heartbeat quicken
Im forced to feed on human brains - they taste a lot like chicken

Something Wicked this way comes
Roller skatin' danger
One bite and you become
A zombified stranger

credits

from 2012 Songaweek, track released January 14, 2012
Written, performed, and produced by HB Radke

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HB Radke Seattle, Washington

HB Radke has music in his blood. The son of Harry James Orchestra frontman Fred Radke and vocalist Gina Funes, HB started on the trumpet at the age of 8. He started his own big band just a few years after that. His career as a vocalist began in his teens.

For 2011 he has resolved to write and record at least one original song per week. As of September 2011, he is 4 weeks ahead of schedule. ... more

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